


Resignation and Goodbyes

by real_phy



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Character Death, Falling Out of Love, Hanahaki Disease, I LOVE LAI GUANLIN I SWEAR, I Love You All, I love guanlin okay, Light Angst, M/M, PanWink - Freeform, Poor Guanlin tbh, Sequel is up, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unrequited Love, but like im sorry guanlin ilysm stay strong, guanlin doesnt deserve this torture, im sorry again, tf am I doing with my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2018-12-24 15:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12015816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/real_phy/pseuds/real_phy
Summary: “Hyung?” After what seemed like a 10-minute lapse of silence, Guanlin spoke up.Jihoon nods, a sign that he’s listening.“Do you love me?” Guanlin said, eyes boring against the elders.It took one, two, three, four and five minutes before Jihoon spoke up.[ sequel is up on chapter 2! ]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I was so angsty lately because day6 moods are giving me fucking feels and I love Panwink so much so I'm adding another one on the fucking tags. So like, don't slander me for creating this. RATED T for cursing!

  “Guanlin, what the fuck?” Their basketball coach yelled at the team captain, who was currently heaving on the center of the basketball gymnasium, crouched down as he tried to calm down his breathing.

“Coach, I think he needs some break.” Woojin pipes up, making his way towards the younger who was still chasing his breath, looking pale.

Once given the permission to have a break, Guanlin didn’t even think twice than storming his way towards the nearest restroom, probably to expel the bitter bile in his throat. His lunch threatening to force out of his system. Arriving at his destination, he held onto the seat, bending his back down as he expelled, expelled everything that was making him sick, making him feel all kinds of anxiety in his body that wasn’t really necessary. So much for the puking, Guanlin honestly expected his lunch to be visible on his sight, but no, it was certainly a species of another plant or more like flowers right in front of him. It was in the same shade, everything was similar, to the color of the petals, to the shapes of it. It terrified Guanlin honestly. He know he’s sane enough to not eat flowers, despite the fact that he can glob five meals a day, kudos to Seonho, his best friend. Though, he’s not fucking stupid to eat a whole bunch of bouquet to puke this much petals and certainly why is he even fucking puking them right now? He doesn’t even fucking know what kind of flower he’s puking.

“Fucking great.” He muttered under his breath, seemingly still confused and pretty horrified at the scene unfolding.

 

To say that Guanlin was less anxious than what happened a while ago would be true. He was currently pressing the pad of his fingers on the doorbell. Preparing for an adorable Jihoon with his hair sticking out in every directions. That’s what Guanlin honestly looks forward to each day honestly. From the mornings he would see Jihoon, snoring adorably in his sleep. To the afternoons that Jihoon would greet Guanlin at the door with the most beautiful smile, hugging and clinging his tall and precious boyfriend.

‘Life’s perfect.’ As to what Guanlin says.

Instead of hearing a “Welcome home baby, how was classes?”, He spots a Jihoon, rubbing his beautiful eye. “Guanlin-ah? You’re early today.”

“Am I allowed not to be early today?” Guanlin grins, albeit teasingly though Jihoon just shrugged him off, the usual smile on his face oddly.. replaced by a frown today. He cups the younger’s cheek before pecking Guanlin on the forehead. “I made sandwiches, it’s on the fridge.” Jihoon dryly stated before poking Guanlin’s cheek. “Eat up, okay? You’ve been losing weight lately.”

Guanlin could only nod, letting Jihoon return back to their shared bedroom. For the first time in Guanlin’s 15 years of existence. He felt.. empty? He felt as if he’s missing out on something and he knows he’s not gonna like it?

 

Night came and Jihoon was supposed to be snuggling to Guanlin’s chest. Making these cute little noises that Guanlin would have a reason for him to fucking think of all day, for him to remember how precious Park Jihoon was. Though tonight, his back was facing Guanlin.

“Did I do something wrong?” Guanlin found himself asking, seemingly too old and suddenly feeling a heavy weight on his chest.

 

“Jihoon hyung! Come on, let’s go home together!” Guanlin shouts outside Jihoon’s classroom. Guanlin expected a Jihoon whose cheeks would turn into a cute shade of red. Though, he was greeted by a wide-eyed Jihoon, another fella right beside him.

“Oh? I thought you have practice today?” Jihoon retorts, squinting at Guanlin before breaking into a soft smile.

“I skipped.. I want to spend more time with you, yeah.” Guanlin admitted, chuckling lightly before the guy right beside Jihoon clears his throat.

“Hey, you must be Guanlin. I’m Daniel.” Daniel says, a polite smile on his lips as he nods towards Guanlin’s direction.

Guanlin nodded as a reply before he was about to whine at Jihoon again, he was cut off by none other than Jihoon himself.

“Guanlin, I’m sorry, I have a project to do with Daniel, you could wait up, right?” Jihoon said, tilting his head cutely and Guanlin hates himself for being so whipped.

“Alright, take care hyung.” Sadness evident in his tone, Guanlin watches as Jihoon and Daniel started talking.

There was something that Guanlin found heartbreaking though, Jihoon’s gaze were different. It was so different because Guanlin knows that, that particular gaze was supposed to be sent to him.

 

Tired with all the bullshit and stress on his plate, Guanlin opted to search the internet on ‘Why do I puke petals’. It ranged from unrealistic answers to believable ones. ‘It’s a disease where one’s love is unrequited. Whereas you puke petals.’ Wait what? Guanlin suddenly can’t breathe, feeling as if his energy drained out of him. Unrequited? As in, one-sided? He was in love and still is to Jihoon though, god knows they were boyfriends. So he was thinking of two things right now. 1) Maybe I like someone else or 2) Maybe I’m just dumb it’s not actually the reason.

He would never fall out of love from Jihoon though. Taking the petal in his fingers, kneading the softness out of it. It was unfortunate that it was pink, Guanlin’s favorite color, but everytime he pukes and cough it out, all it does is damage to Guanlin.

“C-Cyclamen?” He stutters, the species of the flower actually is indeed that.

It meant something though. Resignation and Goodbye.

“I don’t have anyone to bid farewell to.” Guanlin muttered, fingers still scrolling through the article he’s reading before he finally, fucking finally puts his phone down. He stayed there, staring at the ceiling for an hour /or two/. He didn’t mean to overthink though, there was this one possible answer, that Guanlin is convinced might be 90% accurate.

Probably, Jihoon falls out of love from Guanlin.

 

So when the next day came, the petals only seeming to increase in amount, Guanlin finally decided to fuck things up and talk straight to Jihoon. It’s probably the best, rather than him suffering because of a reason he doesn’t know himself.

“Jihoo-“ Guanlin cuts himself off, about to call his hyung before he sees Jihoon, giggling at Daniel’s words. Before he can even had the fucking chance to at least, turn his head around, probably to lessen the torture a little bit. Daniel grabs Jihoon by his neck, pressing a soft kiss against the shorter boy’s lips and Guanlin’s heart exploded then and there, figuratively of course. It was like it was bleeding that he had to clutch onto anything, anything to ground himself at least. His throat building up with petals and as if the world was created to mock Guanlin.

Jihoon only closed his eyes, leaning in to steal another peck on Daniel’s lips.

 

Guanlin didn’t hesitated to turn his heels around, storming off the scene which were like his death place. His soul departing his body because he felt so empty. So fucking empty it hurts, it hurts because realization finally deemed on him.

_He doesn’t love me anymore, he fell out of love from me._

 

Guanlin, being the oh-so-caring boyfriend he is, still awake at ass-o-clock time, honestly it was 1 AM, wrapped around in his blankets as he heard the door creeping open to their shared dorm.

“Jihoon hyung? You’re late again.. You need more sleep.” Guanlin said, clearing his throat as he felt another wave of petals threatening to spill out of his chest.

“Guanlin-ah? Why are you still up, I told you, I have projects to do.” Jihoon said, voice soft before he sits down beside Guanlin, taking the younger’s head in his lap, threading his fingers against Guanlin’s soft hair.

“Hyung?” After what seemed like a 10-minute lapse of silence, Guanlin spoke up.

Jihoon nods, a sign that he’s listening.

“Do you love me?” Guanlin said, eyes boring against the elders.

It took one, two, three, four and five minutes before Jihoon spoke up.

“Why the sudden question?” Jihoon’s voice was still quiet, tone soft, and Guanlin honestly wanted to fucking kiss him on the lips right not because why is Jihoon doing this to him.

“Just answer me.” Guanlin demanded, voice firm as he stares at the other.

“..yeah..” Jihoon muttered before Guanlin lets out a bitter chuckle.

“..what?” Jihoon’s brows furrowed as he heard the other let out a chuckle.

“You like Daniel hyung, don’t you?” It took every inch of boldness Guanlin has to muster before he could even tell the words to Jihoon.

“I- I. I don’t?” Jihoon answered, face contorting in an adorable way but Guanlin’s heart fell because of fucking course, he know.

“Y’know what hyung, let’s just.. let’s just end this, it’s pointless.” Guanlin mumbled, sitting himself straight as he pats Jihoon’s head.

“Wait what?” Jihoon asked, offended as he stares at the other in disbelief.

“Don’t play stupid with me hyung, I saw you and him kissing a while ago in the hallway.” Guanlin said, voice smaller than he intended.

“I- Guanlin-ah. I’m sorry.” Jihoon pleaded, looking at the younger with his beautiful eyes and Guanlin’s heart fucking jumped.

“It’s fine, just tell me you don’t love me anymore, it’d be easier that way.” Guanlin didn’t really mean to make it sound harsh but Jihoon starts tearing up.

“I’m sorry Guanlin, it’s just.. you’re so young.. I- I might have fallen out of love from you, but that doesn’t mean I’d stop caring for you.” Pity, fucking pity is what he sees in me. Guanlin thinks before he heaves out a heavy breath, cupping the elder’s cheeks in his palms.

“I’ll be fine on my own, I’m big enough, I’m not a fucking toddler, Christ.” Guanlin said, laughing, light and airy before he rests his head on the back of the chair.

“I guess this is the end, yeah?” Guanlin said, staring at Jihoon.

“Thanks for understanding, Lin-ah.” Jihoon said, wrapping his arms around the younger’s torso.

“Guanlin! Guanlin, wait up!” Jihoon chased after the younger boy, who was looking like he’s having a chase from Jihoon.

“Listen, I don’t know you, stop following me.” Guanlin hissed out, before he turns around.

“Guanlin, what the fuck?” Jihoon blurted out, suddenly confused as he sees the old cold and stubborn Guanlin who he knew he tamed before.]

“Okay, that’s enough, I know my name is Guanlin, but like… Park Jihoon.. Please stop following me, it’s rude and fucking creepy.” Guanlin read Jihoon’s nametag before he stormed off, leaving a confused Jihoon behind.

“You sure about this?” The doctor asked Guanlin one last time before giving the doctor a firm nod.

“It’s pointless anyways. I’m tired.”

That day, Guanlin opted to take the surgery to remove the flowers, because if not, it would turn fatal and he’d die at a very young age which Guanlin honestly opted to do, but he thinks, seeing Jihoon looking for him everywhere was heart breaking enough already let alone let him see his grave because of a break up?

Though the options say, you’ll either lose feelings for that someone, completely forget about them or both.

In this case, Guanlin got both.

“I can’t believe you fucking did that!” Jihoon hissed, lightly slapping Guanlin’s arm who was currently letting out dolphin sonic waves aka his laugh.

“What can I do? You and Daniel looks pretty whipped for each other.” Guanlin shrugged, seemingly satisfied with what he just did to the two couples. “S’been a year already huh,” Guanlin says, still trying to gain his ‘memories’ of Jihoon in which Jihoon struggled for 2 months to try and make Guanlin open up to him again.

“We’re like, getting married in 6 months. Gosh, Guanlin, you didn’t have to help Daniel.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

“Oh come on you know-“ Guanlin was rudely cut off by Jihoon, who was storming forward.

“I love you, yeah whatever. You know you love me anyways.”

 

In that moment though, Guanlin felt a painful flash in his chest, eyes blinding for a full minute before it felt like he was kicked anywhere else, breaking into a fit of coughs as he cupped his mouth. There, sits a lone petal of a striped carnation.

‘Wish I could be with you?’ Guanlin asked himself, staring at the back of Jihoon who was currently talking to an overly excited Seonho.

Though, when Jihoon turns around, sending Guanlin a playful wink.

Guanlin fucking gasped, a lone tear escaping his eye as he was hit hard on the fucking chest.

He was in love with Park Jihoon, for the second fucking time, and guess what?

His Park Jihoon, was getting married to Kang Daniel in less than 2 months.

Ah, look at love destroying a human more than it already should have.

Guanlin bends his head down, the paper in his hold slipping off his hand as it read.

_“Guanlin, be the best man, yeah?” –Jihoon_

Of fucking course, love fucking tears you to pieces.

 


	2. Refusals and Admirations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I promise you hyung. Everything will be alright.” Guanlin assured him and it was evident that Jihoon calmed down from the nerves in his system. “You’ll see me there, in the seats, in the front row. If you’re ever nervous, just stare at me. I will assure you, alright?” Guanlin whispered, reaching out to squish Jihoon’s cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally made a closure to this story! This would be the final chapter of the series! This was a sequel that I wanted to make because it seriously received such nice reviews to everyone, thank you. Thank you for translating this fiction as well and it garnered a lot of attention from foreign viewers! Once again, thank you. This is all for everyone. Merry Christmas!
> 
> I recommend all of you to listen to this while reading, it will give the best reading experience!  
> Girls' Generation's One Last Time, Ruth B.'s If This Is Love, Monsta X's From Zero and lastly, Taeyeon's 11:11
> 
> Happy Reading!

_“When is it again?”_ Guanlin mumbles, his phone lazily laid beside his head, staring at the ceiling, as if he’s been in a deep daze.

“Guanlin. Stop being dumb. This is the second time. Why would you torture yourself like this?” Woojin’s voice was heard on the line, his tone irritated and completely displeased about the new found information of Guanlin being _Jihoon’s best man._

“It’s not like it’s my choice to get that damn disease, hyung.” He whispered, tone dejected and defeated as he visibly winced, eyes fluttering close as he prepares himself for another round of _Woojin Lessons About Love 101_.

“ _Language, child._ ” Woojin hissed before continuing, and to Guanlin’s genuine confusion for Woojin’s voice to be softer than he thought it’d be, he continues. “Guanlin. I care for you. I’m your hyung. You can’t torture yourself like this, this is borderline masochistic. You’ve gone through surgery once. You can do it again, can you?”

His voice was full of hope, and Guanlin’s chest ache as he felt his palms go clammy, adjusting his phone to his ear as he shifts his position, lying down on his side as he stares at the photo frame of him and Jihoon on his bedside table. _It’s been seriously almost 2 years._

“I think I can.. I guess?” Guanlin whispered on the phone, but it was more like a whisper to himself more than to Woojin.

“I’m counting on you. You don’t have to go to the wedding as well. Being tortured twice is enough. Enough is enough. You don’t have plans on making it three tortures, right?” Woojin joked, trying to enlighten the tension in their conversation, muffled voices were also heard on the other line.

“Of course, hyung.” Guanlin giggles on the line, gaze softening to the photo frame because can he really do it _again?_

“Take care of yourself, kid. I’ll hang up for now. Oh, one last thing. Are you going to Daniel and Jihoon’s hangout with the _bros_ next Friday before their wedding?” Woojin piped up, voice deepening as if already telling Guanlin to ‘ _nope child, you’re not going.’_

“Yes?-“ _because I’m the best man._ Guanlin was about to continue but Woojin beat him up to it as Woojin firmly stated a “No. You’re not going unless you won’t be getting that damn surgery. You wouldn’t want to puke endless flowers there and create a bouquet in front of them, are you?” Horror was evident in Woojin’s voice and Guanlin could only let out an airy laugh, a cough being followed as a petal, and another petal, and oh look there’s also another petal came out of his lips.

“That’s a nice idea though, hyung. I would definitely want to do that.” Guanlin’s gleeful laugh was heard echoing through his room as Woojin yelled a “You fucking bastard!” At Guanlin before ending their conversation.

The smile faded though as soon as he lets his gaze travel from the silky sheets of his bed to that _one particular photo frame_ in his bedside table. He convinced himself that he kept that because Jihoon hyung was his favorite hyung not until his feelings and memories of the other came back, and it hit him like a damn hurricane. His fingers reach up to the frame, landing on Jihoon’s smiling face before he sighs.

 _Damn you, Park Jihoon._ He sits up, heaving out a heavy sigh before holding his face in between his hands. _He’s going crazy._ He knows the surgery was easy, albeit a bit expensive but not too expensive of course because he has done it once, but doing it again.. What if those feelings would return again? Would Guanlin live a life with a short-term memory loss for Park Jihoon and make this an endless cycle of falling in love?

Guanlin was about to just say _fuck it_ before he burst into a fit of coughs followed be heaving as petals of different flowers were scattered in front of him, and on his white sheets. Striped Carnations, Red Carnations and Red Roses. Striped Carnations were a symbol of refusal, Red Carnations were for admiration and Red roses were for endless love. It’s as if fate slapped Guanlin figuratively because he definitely needs to get that surgery sooner, if he wants to go to Jihoon’s wedding with no fucking problems.

_Sooner, I will._

_____________________________________

Guanlin was sitting outside the Doctor’s clinic, fidgeting with his phone as he waits for a certain _small head_ to be here now by any time who promised to accompany him today.

 _“Dumbass!_ I’m here!” Jinyoung waved frantically as he sees Guanlin’s scrunched shoulders, running up to him as he bumps his shoulders with the younger’s.

“So, is Mr. I’m Suffering finally going to get the petals out of him today.. For the second time?” Jinyoung’s voice was seriously so fucking annoying if there was a surgery for how to get rid of Bae Jinyoung, Guanlin would do anything to do it even if it would cost him all his wallet.

 _“Please don’t make everything even more miserable for me and shut up.”_ Guanlin pleaded, grabbing Jinyoung’s hand as he squeezes it.

“Holy shit, dude, your hands are so damn cold, are you okay?” Jinyoung’s frown was replaced with a worried façade as he massages Guanlin’s hand with both his hands.

“I’m.. fine?” Guanlin shrugged, coughing yet again before puffing his cheeks to stop himself from expelling the said petals and swallowing them back in his throat because hell no, he’d come out as a freak in front of all these humans.

“Lai Guanlin?” A female voice called out for him, making the two boys’ attentions direct to the female as she ushered both of them inside the Clinic.

 

_____________________________________

 

“I really hate to say this but, Guanlin this is very unhealthy and dangerous.” The doctor’s face was seriously displeased, his fingers tapping on the table as if to formulate the words in his brain.

“How come it’s dangerous? He had done it before.” Jinyoung piped up, averting his gaze to Guanlin who was staring emotionlessly at the doctor, looking paler than he has ever been.

“You see, that’s the biggest problem. Hanahaki disease.. is supposed to only happen once. This is the first time I have encountered something like this. Just by looking at the findings, Guanlin would probably not make it if he goes to another surgery.” The doctor’s voice was mellow, but firm as he taps his pen on the examination paper.

“You mean.. It’s deadly?” Guanlin’s voice was finally heard after him remaining silent throughout the whole process of examination.

“Unfortunately, yes.” The doctor didn’t hesitate to say it before he pursed his lips together. “I’m really sorry, Guanlin. You’re so young and I wish I can do anything but I really don’t know how to deal with this, but we can try if you really want.”

“I’m all good.” Guanlin finished, dragging Jinyoung’s wrist with him as he exits to the door of the place, his head bowed down.

“I don’t know what’s on with you, but as long as you’re doing the surgery, then I’m begging you.” Jinyoung stopped Guanlin from his tracks, clutching to the younger’s hand desperately. “Please, Guanlin, stop torturing yourself like this. Please. Forget about Jihoon and Daniel, we’re here. Someday, you’ll find love like Daehwi and I have, like Jihoon and Daniel’s, like Woojin’s and Hyungseob’s. Don’t give up like this please.” Jinyoung’s voice was cracking, his hold on Guanlin’s hand tightening. “We can’t lose you, Guanlin.”

There was a heavy silence that passed by them for a few minutes, Guanlin’s head still bowed down before he looks back up, sending a small reassuring smile to the elder.

“I promise. You won’t.” _I promise._

_____________________________________

The days flews by quicker than how the second hand runs past through the clock. The days were seemingly like hours for Guanlin. Guanlin who was always reminiscing in his room. His personal hellhole as piles and piles of petals were slowly occupying the whole entire room and Guanlin was worried, to say the least but he stopped caring really.

A notification pops up from his phone and Guanlin swiped to open it.

_Daniel and Jihoon’s Hangout at 9 AM_

As soon as he sees the reminder, Guanlin grabs his coat, and he had to do what he had to do.

_____________________________________

“Guanlin, you’re finally here!” Jihoon wraps his arms around Guanlin’s waist, the latter quick to reciprocate the elder’s gesture before he was dragged down by Jihoon, whispering the words in his ear, “Please tell me you’ve done it.”

“ _.. I did.”_ Guanlin whispered back, pulling away from the hug with his signature gummy smile which quite shocked everyone at first because it had been months, months since they found out Guanlin had caught the rare disease of puking petals when someone doesn’t reciprocate the love you give for them.

The group burst into cheers and yells as they heard Guanlin’s whisper to Jihoon. Daniel was quick to squeeze Guanlin from the back, ruffling his hair. “Come on. You were late, dumbass. We left food for you.” Daniel ushered Guanlin next to Jihoon, basically he was squeezed between Daniel and Jihoon in which Guanlin didn’t even bothered replying as he wolfed down the food right in front of him.

That day, as Guanlin observed everyone, he felt somewhat relaxed? Seeing how everyone was going well, everyone was united for once. Everyone was happy, the tension between them were loosened and Guanlin was able to breath after months and months of feeling as if he’s being suffocated.

_____________________________________

It was finally the day of Daniel and Jihoon being one, Guanlin was assigned to look out for Jihoon because hello, he was the best man and he agreed to it. The fact that Guanlin and Jihoon’s suit matched made them burst out in giggles as they were clumped inside the dressing room of Jihoon. It was about 15 minutes until they had to go out there and start the ceremony, with Guanlin fixing Jihoon’s tie, dusting off dusts from his hyung’s suit,

“Guanlin.. I’m nervous.” Jihoon whispered, his eyes still seemingly too bright for Guanlin to look at, but it’s not like he’s complaining. He responds with a roll of his eyes and a pinch to Jihoon’s nose.

“Hyung. You’re gonna remain a baby, aren’t you? What are you even worried for?” Guanlin tilted his head, still pampering Jihoon with the slightest bit of detail before Jihoon bit his lips, looking down.

“What if Daniel would walk out from me?” Jihoon whispered, voice seemingly defeated and Guanlin’s heart aches hearing it. He was quick to grab both of Jihoon’s hand, clutching it tightly to his chest which made Jihoon look up.

“You love Daniel hyung, don’t you?” Guanlin asked, gaze serious, focused on Jihoon’s shining orbs. He receives a small nod from the smaller. “And he loves you too. You do know why we’re here right now, right?” Guanlin smiled, blinking innocently before breaking into a wide grin. “You’re gonna become Kang, dumbass.” Guanlin chortled before Jihoon hit him on the shoulders, turning beet red at Guanlin’s statement. Guanlin was quick to pry Jihoon’s hand away from his shoulders again as he holds both of them tightly, bring both of his hands to his lips. “I promise you hyung. Everything will be alright.” Guanlin assured him and it was evident that Jihoon calmed down from the nerves in his system. “You’ll see me there, in the seats, in the front row. If you’re ever nervous, just stare at me. I will assure you, alright?” Guanlin whispered, reaching out to squish Jihoon’s cheeks.

“Thank you, Guanlin. For everything.” Jihoon jutted his lips out, tears threatening to spill off from his eyelids before Guanlin panicked, screeching, his high-pitched yell echoing in the room.

“No crying! What the fuck. The ceremony hasn’t even started yet, you cry baby.” Guanlin used his thumb to wipe the tears that were threatening to spill.

“Shut up.” Jihoon turned around, faking a sulk.

What happened after that were shared conversations, them fooling around with how lightbulbs work. Who arranged the bouquet. Them buying the same design of suit on the same story. It goes on and on and on.

_____________________________________

The wedding bells were heard, everyone’s eyes were on Park Jihoon. Guanlin could only stare in awe, his thoughts seemingly reeling off by themselves, watching Jihoon as if he’s an angel, ready to finally unite with another angel.

_I remembered the time I asked you, what was the perfect place for a first kiss._

_You answered, in front of the altar._

Jihoon’s cheeks were dusted with a faint color of pink, which was adorable because it matched some of the colors in Jihoon’s bouquet.

_I remembered I asked you, what would be the perfect name if I had to change my name._

_You answered, as long as my surname was ‘Park’, every name would go with it._

Jihoon was slightly stumbling, licking his lips then and then as he was nearly in the middle of the aisle, eyes forward.

_I remembered I asked you, what would be the perfect blessing for couples._

_You answered, them vowing to each other, in front of everyone, making eternal promises._

Jihoon was nearing Guanlin and Guanlin’s breathing was hitching.

_Here we are, you’re finally in front of me. In front of the altar._

_You do know I wish you for the best, right?_

Jihoon looked up at Guanlin, winking to the younger one before walking pass by him.

_Even if it means letting you go, I will, for you, I will._

Jihoon walks up to Daniel, taking Daniel’s arm as they walked forward to the altar, but not before Jihoon turning around and mouthing a ‘ _thank you.’_ To Guanlin.

The ceremony went like this. Vows were shared with Sungwoon crying mercilessly on Jisung’s shoulder, Minhyun had to cover his head so he wouldn’t disturb everyone with his loud sobbing. Daehwi hugging Jinyoung’s waist tightly as he watches the scene unfold in front of them, with Jinyoung resting his hands on Daehwi’s arm, talking about how they were going to do that sooner too. Seongwoo pursing his lips as he tries not to cringe at their words, not before bursting into laughter that garnered everyone’s attention. Woojin’s fingers laced with Hyungseob as they share soft conversations. Jaehwan’s fingers flying softly over the piano because he insisted to sing for the couple, and when the two finally shared their first kiss on the altar. Guanlin being the most supportive as he literally screeched which made everyone laugh, clapping like a seal in the crowd.

Everything was perfect.

.... _Or so they thought._

_____________________________________

The reception was full of laughter, smiles and memories that Jihoon almost forgot about someone seemingly just suddenly went missing in action after the ceremony at the church. Someone who would screech like there’s no tomorrow. Someone tall as fuck for their age. Someone who had the gummiest smile, he didn’t even need teeth. Someone who was named _Lai Guanlin._ They suspected that Guanlin was probably sick and so they decided to let the child off, but when the reception finally came to an end, the group searched and searched and searched but they weren’t a sign for the screeching little child.

They went to the last place they could think of, Guanlin’s apartment where he stayed at because it is where Guanlin’s phone was being located, after endless ringing and ringing of his phone.

“He’s inside.” Minhyun concluded, as they twist the door knob of his apartment.

“Check the living room.” Daniel heaved, tired from running and running as they search for the child named _Guanlin._

“He’s in his room!” Jinyoung yelled, closing his eyes in relief as he places a hand over his chest. “Lai Guanlin, how dare you fucking bastard sleep on us while the reception continued, wake the fuck up!” Jinyoung yelled, which earned laughter from the other guys following them but there was something quite odd.

 _“Guanlin?”_ Jihoon called out but when they noticed that Guanlin’s sleeping form wasn’t receiving any response, he ran to the said boy, only to witness the scene in front of him.

The sheets were stained with blood, lots and lots of blood, the endless full blooms of Sweet Peas, Striped Carnations, Red Carnations, and Red Roses, all soaked in blood.

Jihoon fell to his knees. Daehwi screaming in the background as the members jaws dropped at the view in front of them.

Lai Guanlin. Their precious little boy who loved cheering people up with just his powerful supersonic dolphin laughs and seal claps. Their little dongsaeng who would do everything to any command they’d give, was now lifelessly lying on his own bed.

“No. No. No. This is not true.” Jinyoung piped up, running towards Guanlin’s side. Guanlin’s eyes half lidded, as he held his hand. It was cold. Cold as in life was just seeped out of his form.

“No, Guanlin, how could you?” Jinyoung whispered, still trying to shake his body as the other guys gathered around his body.

“He’s not dead, is he? Please tell us, he’s not.” Sungwoon finally spoke up, clutching tightly on his own suit.

“No. Of course not. Guanlin’s only sleeping. Right? Jinyoung-ah?” Daehwi’s voice cracks, tears spilling out of his eyelids quickly as he hugged Guanlin’s unresponsive body.

Daniel leaned on the wall, his eyes couldn’t even stare at Guanlin’s state.

Minhyun hesitatingly walked over Guanlin’s side, seeing his phone before he was quick to pass it over to Jihoon. _“Guess he wanted to say something but he wasn’t able to.”_

Jihoon wanted to flick the phone away, because no, Guanlin isn’t dead. Guanlin just literally promised him everything would be alright. Guanlin just even held his hands six hours ago, though his conscience tells him to read it.

His fingers trembled as he touches the screen, splattered with a reasonable amount of crimson colored liquid as he starts reading the text.

To: Jihoonie Hyung

Hyung, Hi! I’m so sorry I left the place earlier. My chest hurt so much and I wouldn’t want to disrupt the party just because I couldn’t breathe and all. I’m sincerely sorry. Don’t worry about me though. I’m fine! I’m seriously fine.

Though you’d probably would ask me what happened. Firstly, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I lied. I lied when I said I got the surgery but I didn’t I couldn’t. It was pointless.

_It hurts hyung, it hurts so damn much._

I chose to pretend to give a blind eye and just carry on with my feelings for you until my end, I just didn’t know it would be today. Ironic really. Atleast that way, I would leave this place with the memory of you and I. Atleast that way, I would still smile as I let out my final breath. 

That night where you saw me walking on the streets, you thought I got a surgery? Man I bought make up to conceal my pale self. Real man gotta wear make up, Haha.

Now I understood how you seriously fell for Daniel hyung though. He’s sweet, special, and so damn funny. He's so lucky to have you, and you both are so perfect for each other. 

If I will say I wasn't jealous a while ago, it would be the biggest lie to be ever told. I was dying hyung, I was emotionally dying because I was right all along. With all the fights of I love yous, I always said I love you more and I was never wrong because I still am _irrevocably, irreversibly, passionately_ in love with you, Kang Jihoon. 

Congratulations! You’re finally Kang Jihoon. I hope you’d sincerely be happy! Smile for me always hyung. I just really want to say I love you and that I’m never gonna leave your

The text stopped there and Jihoon was quick to throw the phone away, breaking down on the floor as heart wrenching sobs left his lips.

_How could you Lai Guanlin._

_How could you._

_____________________________________

 

_“Hyung! Look at the stars! They’re so beautiful! I repeat, beautiful.” Guanlin piped up excitedly._

_“Stop staring at the stars. We need to arrange the guest list, Lai Guanlin. Tomorrow’s the day, what are you even-“ Jihoon was cut off as Guanlin mumbled a small reply._

_“I swear, someday you’ll see a big star in the skies and you wouldn’t stop staring at it too. Mark my words, Park Jihoon.” Guanlin squinted, as he went back to sorting the guest list,_

_“What are you on even.” Jihoon blinked, confused before Guanlin shrugged, tilting his head._

_“I don’t even know.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone wouldn't hate me for such an open ending, but I hope you all would get it. It's a flashback prior the day before Kang and Park's wedding. Thank you for the nice reviews that I made a sequel to this. The sequel was a bittersweet one, despite that, it has been realistic and I'm very proud to share this to everyone. Thanks for reading! Your author's sincerely grateful.
> 
> PS. Sweet Pea flower in flower language means departure, or "thank you for the lovely time, farewell."

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I love you guys, don't cry. Ily.


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